Written vs spoken and face-to-face expression

The exchange of thoughts and feelings between persons has come a long way. Perfumed papers, fountain pens and floral envelopes, sealed with love and friendship, ruled the day. Snail mail was the way of conveyance. Now emails, instant chats and smses take over such "primitive methods". A click of the buttons is enough to send the messages over to the other party.

I incorporate both ways of expression in my exchanges with people. I feel that though writing on paper is seen as troublesome, it is a nostalgic act of taking that trouble to do so for someone you care. I've extended my ways of sending letters to either putting them personally in the other party's postbox or handing them personally to the person upon meeting him or her. Technological methods are seemingly more convenient and quicker, provided the other party has equal access to such technology. Computers and handphones are susceptible to breakdown, as all machines are.

Nonetheless, written expression allows us to select what we want to let the other party know. What is to be concealed remains so. Even words are carefully chosen to aid the concealment. Does this smack of insincere and untruthful communication? Spoken and face-to-face communication on the other hand, show our real selves to others, even without our conscious knowledge. Tone creeps into spoken communication and affects the way our words are interpreted by people while face-to-face communication is accompanied by body language which has an interpretative effect as well. What is not conscious does not lie because we don't have control over it to choose how or whether to bring it across to people. Emotion is also brought across effectively, if you want the person to be aware of it but subtly.

In a way, written communication can become a form of avoidance towards real contact. When there is an impending breakup or awkwardness, a letter can soften the impact. Any negative exchange can be tempered via written expression. However, spending time with people who matter should be via spoken and face-to-face contact. It creates more emotional intimacy when you spend time together on the phone or meet up for a meal. Somehow, such times will seem more special.

Out of all written communication, technological methods can cause fallibility amidst convenience and speed. The list of friends we have is arranged alphabetically and if we send a message meant for a specific person to someone else by mistake, all hell breaks loose. This is especially true if we talk about someone to others and that someone gets that very message by mistake.