Somehow looking at the new reminds me of the old. I am starting to develop deeper imaginings, even to the point of the subconscious's nocturnal workings. Still, it was nice to experience the classic manners of a gentleman for a short while, even if it was purely to offer help :)
To be objective however, the new is not the old. I think thoughts of the old have clouded my perception of the new. They are dissimilar. Their characters, singing and speaking voices, and inclinations are not the same. It is perhaps really the qualities that I look for, which the new somewhat possesses, that draw me in, though he cannot surpass the old. The old ultimately wins.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Bonding
The conversations, outings and musical gifts I have been blest with by my bestie; the more comfortable feelings that have surfaced from them; enough to be more frank with him, are really a treasure trove of memories which can be opened again and again, after he has gone Home. It is his legacy to me, our shared times.
We do go back a long way and I am glad I stuck it out by him despite others' dissuasions. I cannot bear to leave him when his best friends have and when he is going through so much. I think he knows by now who is really there for him and who is really good to him. It is not that I want him to know though. Love, after all, is giving without expecting any repayment, just for the good of the other.
I think male and female besties share a special friendship which is different from that shared between female besties. They can be innocently playful with each other, as if they are children. No lustful thoughts about each other cross their minds. Of course, this applies to only platonic friendships based on mutual trust. I witnessed this for the first time. It is really the perception of others that mar this bond. I had this experience with my own bestie but I marred it due to my own romantic thought. :S He probably did it in pure clean fun.
Still, I am proud of having had my romantic feelings for him decreased with time. They are now more platonic. I am thankful that they have been viewed as so too, that he has not been scared off. It made me feel so grateful for our friendship; the fact that it is getting tighter and stronger. Most friendships of different genders don't survive this. It also reflects well on his maturity. It definitely proves the strength of our friendship and affirms my worth as a friend too.
On the other hand, joking about the degree of closeness between friends is not exactly funny. How can one find humour at deceiving someone else about the type of friendship shared with her friend, especially when his future is at stake here? It is not a matter of taking words said too seriously but of "cheating" someone else's perception of the friendship.
We do go back a long way and I am glad I stuck it out by him despite others' dissuasions. I cannot bear to leave him when his best friends have and when he is going through so much. I think he knows by now who is really there for him and who is really good to him. It is not that I want him to know though. Love, after all, is giving without expecting any repayment, just for the good of the other.
I think male and female besties share a special friendship which is different from that shared between female besties. They can be innocently playful with each other, as if they are children. No lustful thoughts about each other cross their minds. Of course, this applies to only platonic friendships based on mutual trust. I witnessed this for the first time. It is really the perception of others that mar this bond. I had this experience with my own bestie but I marred it due to my own romantic thought. :S He probably did it in pure clean fun.
Still, I am proud of having had my romantic feelings for him decreased with time. They are now more platonic. I am thankful that they have been viewed as so too, that he has not been scared off. It made me feel so grateful for our friendship; the fact that it is getting tighter and stronger. Most friendships of different genders don't survive this. It also reflects well on his maturity. It definitely proves the strength of our friendship and affirms my worth as a friend too.
On the other hand, joking about the degree of closeness between friends is not exactly funny. How can one find humour at deceiving someone else about the type of friendship shared with her friend, especially when his future is at stake here? It is not a matter of taking words said too seriously but of "cheating" someone else's perception of the friendship.
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