This is in response to the article in Lifestyle dated 11th September 2011. I feel that the earliest stage at which they can get rings is their engagement. If they are merely 'going steady' with each other, there is no real need to get rings. This is because at this stage, they have a higher chance of breaking up more quickly, since there is no formal bond of engagement or marriage to make them think twice. Once they have broken up, the rings become insignificant and instead a source of pain.
I feel that if couples get rings at too early a stage, it is a novelty to them, especially for those who are still on the rungs of new love. If couples are truly committed to each other, there is no harm waiting till the stage of engagement to get rings. They should be concentrating on strengthening and maintaining their bond, as they work towards that stage. After all, "the most beautiful things are not seen but are felt with the heart." As long as they are aware of their decision to commit to each other and their fidelity to each other , there is no need to show the world with such extravagant luxuries. A simple gesture of lacing fingers with each other or putting arms around the waists is enough.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Jane Austen on Love & Romance
If I could but know his heart, everything would become easy.
-Marianne Dashwood, Sense and Sensibility
A simple style of dress is so infinitely preferable to finery... I believe; few people seem to value simplicity of dress, show and finery are everything.
-Augusta Elton, Emma
Considering how very handsome she is, she appears to be little occupied with it.
-George Knightley, Emma
People that marry can never part, but must go and keep house together...
- Henry Tilney, Northanger Abbey
My idea of good company... is the company of clever, well-informed people who have a good deal of conversation.
- Anne Elliot, Persuasion
Laugh as much as you choose, but you will not laugh me out of my opinion.
- Jane Bennet, Pride and Prejudice
You must not let your fancy run away with you.
- Mrs Gardiner, Pride and Prejudice
It would not be a bad thing for her to be very much in love with a proper object.
- George Knightley, Emma
How little of permanent happiness could belong to a couple who were only brought together because their passions were stronger than their virtue.
- Pride and Prejudice
There could have been no two hearts so open, no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison.
- Persuasion
... where youth and diffidence are united, it requires uncommon steadiness of reason to resist the attraction of being called the most charming girl in the world.
- Northanger Abbey
It would be mortifying to the feelings of many ladies could they be made to understand how little the heart of man is affected by what is costly or new in their attire; how little it is biased by the texture of their muslin.
- Northanger Abbey
.. men are much more philosophic on the subject of beauty than they are generally supposed; till they do fall in love with well-informed minds instead of handsome faces.
- Emma Woodhouse, Emma
I have no notion of loving by halves; it is not my nature.
- Isabella Thorpe, Northanger Abbey
A young woman in love always looks - like Patience on a monument/ Smiling at Grief.
- Quoting William Shakespeare in Northanger Abbey
She began now to comprehend that he was exactly the man, who in disposition and talents, would most suit her.
- Pride and Prejudice
I do suspect that he is not really necessary to my happiness. So much the better. I certainly will not persuade myself to feel more than I do.
- Emma Woodhouse, Emma
If a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him.
- Emma Woodhouse, Emma
A woman is not to marry a man merely because she is asked.
- Emma Woodhouse, Emma
... do anything rather than marry without affection.
- Jane Bennet, Pride and Prejudice
He is rich, to be sure, and you may have more fine clothes and fine carriages than Jane. But will they make you happy?
- Mr Bennet, Pride and Prejudice
In marriage, the man is supposed to provide for the support of the woman, the woman to make the home agreeable to the man.
- Henry Tilney, Northanger Abbey
Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.
- Northanger Abbey
I have been always used to a very small income, and could struggle with any poverty for him; but I love him too well to be the selfish means of robbing him.
- Lucy Steele, Sense and Sensibility
All the privilege I claim for my own sex... is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone.
- Anne Elliot, Persuasion
There are such beings in the world - perhaps one in a thousand - as the creature you and I think perfection: where grace and spirit are united to worth.
- Letter to Fanny Knight
It is settled between us already, that we are to be the happiest couple in the world.
- Elizabeth Bennet, Pride and Prejudice
... endeavour to give the other no cause for wishing that he or she had bestowed themselves elsewhere.
- Henry Tilney, Northanger Abbey
I wish as well as every body else to be perfectly happy; but like every body else, it must be in my own way.
- Edward Ferrars, Sense and Sensibility
-Marianne Dashwood, Sense and Sensibility
A simple style of dress is so infinitely preferable to finery... I believe; few people seem to value simplicity of dress, show and finery are everything.
-Augusta Elton, Emma
Considering how very handsome she is, she appears to be little occupied with it.
-George Knightley, Emma
People that marry can never part, but must go and keep house together...
- Henry Tilney, Northanger Abbey
My idea of good company... is the company of clever, well-informed people who have a good deal of conversation.
- Anne Elliot, Persuasion
Laugh as much as you choose, but you will not laugh me out of my opinion.
- Jane Bennet, Pride and Prejudice
You must not let your fancy run away with you.
- Mrs Gardiner, Pride and Prejudice
It would not be a bad thing for her to be very much in love with a proper object.
- George Knightley, Emma
How little of permanent happiness could belong to a couple who were only brought together because their passions were stronger than their virtue.
- Pride and Prejudice
There could have been no two hearts so open, no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison.
- Persuasion
... where youth and diffidence are united, it requires uncommon steadiness of reason to resist the attraction of being called the most charming girl in the world.
- Northanger Abbey
It would be mortifying to the feelings of many ladies could they be made to understand how little the heart of man is affected by what is costly or new in their attire; how little it is biased by the texture of their muslin.
- Northanger Abbey
.. men are much more philosophic on the subject of beauty than they are generally supposed; till they do fall in love with well-informed minds instead of handsome faces.
- Emma Woodhouse, Emma
I have no notion of loving by halves; it is not my nature.
- Isabella Thorpe, Northanger Abbey
A young woman in love always looks - like Patience on a monument/ Smiling at Grief.
- Quoting William Shakespeare in Northanger Abbey
She began now to comprehend that he was exactly the man, who in disposition and talents, would most suit her.
- Pride and Prejudice
I do suspect that he is not really necessary to my happiness. So much the better. I certainly will not persuade myself to feel more than I do.
- Emma Woodhouse, Emma
If a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him.
- Emma Woodhouse, Emma
A woman is not to marry a man merely because she is asked.
- Emma Woodhouse, Emma
... do anything rather than marry without affection.
- Jane Bennet, Pride and Prejudice
He is rich, to be sure, and you may have more fine clothes and fine carriages than Jane. But will they make you happy?
- Mr Bennet, Pride and Prejudice
In marriage, the man is supposed to provide for the support of the woman, the woman to make the home agreeable to the man.
- Henry Tilney, Northanger Abbey
Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.
- Northanger Abbey
I have been always used to a very small income, and could struggle with any poverty for him; but I love him too well to be the selfish means of robbing him.
- Lucy Steele, Sense and Sensibility
All the privilege I claim for my own sex... is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone.
- Anne Elliot, Persuasion
There are such beings in the world - perhaps one in a thousand - as the creature you and I think perfection: where grace and spirit are united to worth.
- Letter to Fanny Knight
It is settled between us already, that we are to be the happiest couple in the world.
- Elizabeth Bennet, Pride and Prejudice
... endeavour to give the other no cause for wishing that he or she had bestowed themselves elsewhere.
- Henry Tilney, Northanger Abbey
I wish as well as every body else to be perfectly happy; but like every body else, it must be in my own way.
- Edward Ferrars, Sense and Sensibility
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Parenting techniques
It is true that the Western way of bringing up children is rather 'soft' and is not so concerned with values. I do not condone how children are allowed to call their parents by their first names instead of addressing them by their relation ie. Daddy or Mum. The Asian way is stricter and enforces discipline more, in comparison. It is quite sad to read how a son regards his father as a boss rather than as a loving parent, due to his harsh upbringing though.
As a tutor, I cane naughty kids only as a last resort. I have also learnt to offer praises even for little achievements and encouragement to the students who need it. It really is about sensing their needs and using the best ways to enable them to be motivated in their efforts. One common method used by some teachers and parents is reverse psychology, where the child is told that he is not good enough in the hope that he will desire to prove he is otherwise. It unfortunately does not work for everyone. Some children may think they really are not good enough and that no matter what they do, they can never be otherwise. The parent's or teacher's effort will have backfired then.
Professor Amy Chua's parenting memoir has sparked controversy. Her requirement for her daughters to practise their piano playing for 3 hours and to ace their school subjects are extreme for me. She is forcing them to do something they may not want to do in terms of the piano playing and she may be putting undue pressure on what their limited capabilities can take in terms of acing their subjects. My parents told me that they did not really put a lot of pressure on me in my studies as they could see that my forte was in other areas. Bless them!
As a tutor, I cane naughty kids only as a last resort. I have also learnt to offer praises even for little achievements and encouragement to the students who need it. It really is about sensing their needs and using the best ways to enable them to be motivated in their efforts. One common method used by some teachers and parents is reverse psychology, where the child is told that he is not good enough in the hope that he will desire to prove he is otherwise. It unfortunately does not work for everyone. Some children may think they really are not good enough and that no matter what they do, they can never be otherwise. The parent's or teacher's effort will have backfired then.
Professor Amy Chua's parenting memoir has sparked controversy. Her requirement for her daughters to practise their piano playing for 3 hours and to ace their school subjects are extreme for me. She is forcing them to do something they may not want to do in terms of the piano playing and she may be putting undue pressure on what their limited capabilities can take in terms of acing their subjects. My parents told me that they did not really put a lot of pressure on me in my studies as they could see that my forte was in other areas. Bless them!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)