If I could but know his heart, everything would become easy.
-Marianne Dashwood, Sense and Sensibility
A simple style of dress is so infinitely preferable to finery... I believe; few people seem to value simplicity of dress, show and finery are everything.
-Augusta Elton, Emma
Considering how very handsome she is, she appears to be little occupied with it.
-George Knightley, Emma
People that marry can never part, but must go and keep house together...
- Henry Tilney, Northanger Abbey
My idea of good company... is the company of clever, well-informed people who have a good deal of conversation.
- Anne Elliot, Persuasion
Laugh as much as you choose, but you will not laugh me out of my opinion.
- Jane Bennet, Pride and Prejudice
You must not let your fancy run away with you.
- Mrs Gardiner, Pride and Prejudice
It would not be a bad thing for her to be very much in love with a proper object.
- George Knightley, Emma
How little of permanent happiness could belong to a couple who were only brought together because their passions were stronger than their virtue.
- Pride and Prejudice
There could have been no two hearts so open, no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison.
- Persuasion
... where youth and diffidence are united, it requires uncommon steadiness of reason to resist the attraction of being called the most charming girl in the world.
- Northanger Abbey
It would be mortifying to the feelings of many ladies could they be made to understand how little the heart of man is affected by what is costly or new in their attire; how little it is biased by the texture of their muslin.
- Northanger Abbey
.. men are much more philosophic on the subject of beauty than they are generally supposed; till they do fall in love with well-informed minds instead of handsome faces.
- Emma Woodhouse, Emma
I have no notion of loving by halves; it is not my nature.
- Isabella Thorpe, Northanger Abbey
A young woman in love always looks - like Patience on a monument/ Smiling at Grief.
- Quoting William Shakespeare in Northanger Abbey
She began now to comprehend that he was exactly the man, who in disposition and talents, would most suit her.
- Pride and Prejudice
I do suspect that he is not really necessary to my happiness. So much the better. I certainly will not persuade myself to feel more than I do.
- Emma Woodhouse, Emma
If a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him.
- Emma Woodhouse, Emma
A woman is not to marry a man merely because she is asked.
- Emma Woodhouse, Emma
... do anything rather than marry without affection.
- Jane Bennet, Pride and Prejudice
He is rich, to be sure, and you may have more fine clothes and fine carriages than Jane. But will they make you happy?
- Mr Bennet, Pride and Prejudice
In marriage, the man is supposed to provide for the support of the woman, the woman to make the home agreeable to the man.
- Henry Tilney, Northanger Abbey
Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.
- Northanger Abbey
I have been always used to a very small income, and could struggle with any poverty for him; but I love him too well to be the selfish means of robbing him.
- Lucy Steele, Sense and Sensibility
All the privilege I claim for my own sex... is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone.
- Anne Elliot, Persuasion
There are such beings in the world - perhaps one in a thousand - as the creature you and I think perfection: where grace and spirit are united to worth.
- Letter to Fanny Knight
It is settled between us already, that we are to be the happiest couple in the world.
- Elizabeth Bennet, Pride and Prejudice
... endeavour to give the other no cause for wishing that he or she had bestowed themselves elsewhere.
- Henry Tilney, Northanger Abbey
I wish as well as every body else to be perfectly happy; but like every body else, it must be in my own way.
- Edward Ferrars, Sense and Sensibility
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Parenting techniques
It is true that the Western way of bringing up children is rather 'soft' and is not so concerned with values. I do not condone how children are allowed to call their parents by their first names instead of addressing them by their relation ie. Daddy or Mum. The Asian way is stricter and enforces discipline more, in comparison. It is quite sad to read how a son regards his father as a boss rather than as a loving parent, due to his harsh upbringing though.
As a tutor, I cane naughty kids only as a last resort. I have also learnt to offer praises even for little achievements and encouragement to the students who need it. It really is about sensing their needs and using the best ways to enable them to be motivated in their efforts. One common method used by some teachers and parents is reverse psychology, where the child is told that he is not good enough in the hope that he will desire to prove he is otherwise. It unfortunately does not work for everyone. Some children may think they really are not good enough and that no matter what they do, they can never be otherwise. The parent's or teacher's effort will have backfired then.
Professor Amy Chua's parenting memoir has sparked controversy. Her requirement for her daughters to practise their piano playing for 3 hours and to ace their school subjects are extreme for me. She is forcing them to do something they may not want to do in terms of the piano playing and she may be putting undue pressure on what their limited capabilities can take in terms of acing their subjects. My parents told me that they did not really put a lot of pressure on me in my studies as they could see that my forte was in other areas. Bless them!
As a tutor, I cane naughty kids only as a last resort. I have also learnt to offer praises even for little achievements and encouragement to the students who need it. It really is about sensing their needs and using the best ways to enable them to be motivated in their efforts. One common method used by some teachers and parents is reverse psychology, where the child is told that he is not good enough in the hope that he will desire to prove he is otherwise. It unfortunately does not work for everyone. Some children may think they really are not good enough and that no matter what they do, they can never be otherwise. The parent's or teacher's effort will have backfired then.
Professor Amy Chua's parenting memoir has sparked controversy. Her requirement for her daughters to practise their piano playing for 3 hours and to ace their school subjects are extreme for me. She is forcing them to do something they may not want to do in terms of the piano playing and she may be putting undue pressure on what their limited capabilities can take in terms of acing their subjects. My parents told me that they did not really put a lot of pressure on me in my studies as they could see that my forte was in other areas. Bless them!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Differing criteria
A person's spirituality and importance attached to his faith is the foremost criterion. His looks is a factor far down on the list. I don't agree with the reasoning that it can divulge his character, albeit the accurate musings that have occurred. I feel that the former is a much more accurate lead to his character, besides his hobbies.
Am I being naive with such thinking? I think the values we place priority on are different, and it stems from the prior choices we made in life, as well as the importance we place on our spirituality. It may sound arrogant but this is what I truly feel.
Anyway, based on status quo, my opinion seems to be reinforced. Perhaps it may be a deliberate attempt to show a certain side which may not be real, but I doubt so. Nonetheless, I know God is the one leading. Period.
Am I being naive with such thinking? I think the values we place priority on are different, and it stems from the prior choices we made in life, as well as the importance we place on our spirituality. It may sound arrogant but this is what I truly feel.
Anyway, based on status quo, my opinion seems to be reinforced. Perhaps it may be a deliberate attempt to show a certain side which may not be real, but I doubt so. Nonetheless, I know God is the one leading. Period.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Musicians are not recommended life-partners?!
An article on the types of men we should not bring home to our parents was featured. In it was Dai Yangtian's character in No Limits, the Mediacorp drama series shown at the moment. Wang Yule is a cellist who is reticent and emotionally reserved.
The reasoning is that musicians earn very little and thus cannot provide enough for their wives. I was saddened to read that. It is not just because I love the actor as well as this particular character, but because the two men I had serious feelings for are trained in music too. I guess I am different from women who look at the income level of their potential partners. That is a low priority on my criteria list.
To me, it gives pressure to men to be the sole provider of their new families. Taking care of the family should be a mutual task between the parents, I feel. Yes, it can equate to the men being the breadwinners and the women being the domestic supervisors. To me however, both parents can be breadwinners, notwithstanding the varying degrees. It is really the teamwork between the couple.
The reasoning is that musicians earn very little and thus cannot provide enough for their wives. I was saddened to read that. It is not just because I love the actor as well as this particular character, but because the two men I had serious feelings for are trained in music too. I guess I am different from women who look at the income level of their potential partners. That is a low priority on my criteria list.
To me, it gives pressure to men to be the sole provider of their new families. Taking care of the family should be a mutual task between the parents, I feel. Yes, it can equate to the men being the breadwinners and the women being the domestic supervisors. To me however, both parents can be breadwinners, notwithstanding the varying degrees. It is really the teamwork between the couple.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Material signs of love
Mariah Carey's husband buys a diamond ring for her on their annual wedding anniversary. Though he can afford it as a celebrity, it is not an accurate symbol of love.
Marriage is a sacred commitment a man and a woman make to each other, with God in the centre of it. Its love is constant and not based on emotion. Its love is a decision to stay faithful and loyal to each other. Buying a ring each year means having to ensure there is novelty in each upcoming design, contrary to this love marriage has.
Marriage is a sacred commitment a man and a woman make to each other, with God in the centre of it. Its love is constant and not based on emotion. Its love is a decision to stay faithful and loyal to each other. Buying a ring each year means having to ensure there is novelty in each upcoming design, contrary to this love marriage has.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Sincere vs devious labours of love
Cooking is a labour of love due to all the preparation and the effort involved, with sweat and tears(from cutting the onions) to accompany them.
I was watching the Rachel Ray show and there was an interview with Kim Khardashian. Kim has been involved in a long-time relationship with her boyfriend Reggie. Rachel asked if she loved to cook and she replied in the affirmative. She added that the reason why they have been together for so long is because of her cooking skills. Rachel ended the interview with the saying "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach".
The implication is that Kim schemed to keep Reggie by her side through her cooking. As she strives to improve it, she succeeds in retaining him as her boyfriend. This takes away the true meaning of cooking; the one I mentioned in the introduction. It seems as if there is no love and sincerity involved in cooking for him; but conscious deviousness for selfish reasons.
I cannot fathom ever trying to seduce my partner through cooking. I do cook for my loved ones but I do so with sincere feelings. I cook to share with them my favourite food or to cater to their liking for certain food, as simple as that. There are no complicated reasons or underlying motives.
I was watching the Rachel Ray show and there was an interview with Kim Khardashian. Kim has been involved in a long-time relationship with her boyfriend Reggie. Rachel asked if she loved to cook and she replied in the affirmative. She added that the reason why they have been together for so long is because of her cooking skills. Rachel ended the interview with the saying "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach".
The implication is that Kim schemed to keep Reggie by her side through her cooking. As she strives to improve it, she succeeds in retaining him as her boyfriend. This takes away the true meaning of cooking; the one I mentioned in the introduction. It seems as if there is no love and sincerity involved in cooking for him; but conscious deviousness for selfish reasons.
I cannot fathom ever trying to seduce my partner through cooking. I do cook for my loved ones but I do so with sincere feelings. I cook to share with them my favourite food or to cater to their liking for certain food, as simple as that. There are no complicated reasons or underlying motives.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Superficiality despite age
A woman featured in Urban for Valentine's Day had a particular approach towards maintaining her relationship which I find unbecoming and worldly. It is ironic how the writer termed her thought as "philosophical". She felt that in order to prevent infidelity, she should strive to preserve her looks and figure, besides other things.
Such things wear out with time. Being the older and supposedly wiser half in the relationship, this thought is certainly paradoxical. Even appearance-based beauty cannot conceal character flaws, should there be any. Could it stem from insecurity within her?
Such things wear out with time. Being the older and supposedly wiser half in the relationship, this thought is certainly paradoxical. Even appearance-based beauty cannot conceal character flaws, should there be any. Could it stem from insecurity within her?
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